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Thursday, March 10, 2011

No make up?!?!

I NEVER go anywhere without make up. Not to the grocery store, the gas station, rarely even the drive through unless I HAVE to. I will take it off here though, since everyone else is doing it ;)

1. I have a love hate relationship with the military life. I LOVE the fact that Jason 'earns' 30 days off a year, even if he doesn't use them all and they get antsy if you even try (am I allowed to say that?). I HATE that he is gone all the time. I hate that I have spent 3 weeks with him this year so far. I hate that he has to leave me and Paislee all the time, even if its for 6 hours on work days during the weeks he is home. I know I 'signed up' for this lifestyle, but I had to. If I had a choice we would get all of the benefits of being in the military, but we would be able to live at HOME,  he would be able to be home EVERY SINGLE night, and we would never have to move. Can't I just have my cake and eat it too??

2. I do enjoy getting to see different places, but after I see them I want to go back home and be close to my family. I also enjoy meeting new people. That is the good thing about the military life. BUT meeting people isn't coming easy for me. I used to be SO outgoing and crazy and never had trouble talking to strangers. The older I get the harder it is though. I feel like I am still immature, especially when it comes to other moms, and I can't be myself around new people. If I could just act like my stupid, immature self--everything would be easier. So for now, I will sit in my house alone with my sweet baby girl and she will be my best friend, because she doesn't care how silly I act :) Or how immature I am :)

3. Paislee still wakes up to eat at night (don't feel alone, Paige. I will be thinking of you when I am also up for that 2 am feeding ;)). In fact, she wants to eat ALL NIGHT. Just lately, she still sleeps with me so it isn't too big of a deal but she wants to nurse ALL NIGHT LONG. Maybe it's a growth spurt.

4. I feel like my child is one of a kind. Doesn't every one feel that way about their kids though? I think Paislee was a diva the day she was born. And she hasn't given me a break ever since. She is needy, she wants me to hold her for her naps (and I do, a lot.), she doesn't want to eat food, she wants milk and only mine. She doesn't want a bottle. She will NOT fall asleep unless you are rocking her. She has never once laid down and fallen asleep on her own. And a lot of times I think to myself "WHAT am I going to do with this child? I will never have time for myself, EVER again" But then I think about how SMART she is, and how BEAUTIFUL she is, and how HEALTHY she is and how LUCKY I am.....and it can't be THAT bad. She isn't sick, she grows and she learns and that's all I care about. Even if I have to rock her to sleep for the rest of her life, and even if she wants to sleep with me and Jason forever--it could be so much worse. In fact, it isn't even bad, it's wonderful and I love her and life couldn't be better :)

4. But a night out with a few strong drinks would be great ;)

5. Even a weekend, but I can't even think about leaving her for that long yet :)

6. I LOVE to sing, but I can't sing good. I love to sing at the top of my lungs like I am performing at the Grammy's. But only when the neighbors aren't home :)

7. I can't wait to be pregnant again. I don't know when we will start trying for another one because there are a lot of things to think about before having another one but I feel like I will never have enough kids. I think I will always want another one. I'm sure I will change my mind after the next one though :)

8. I am a paranoid psycho too, Andrea. I am scared at night when Jason is gone and that is part of the reason Paislee still sleeps with us. I'm scared someone is going to break in and try to steal her or try to kill us. I do sleep with a gun beside the bed and yes it will be put somewhere safer when Paislee gets a little taller. So if you are a psycho killer and you're reading this--don't even think about coming in my house. Just kidding. Not really. I will aim for the head :) I think I have watched too many Lifetime movies. I was never like this before, I felt totally safe at home and my mom kept our doors unlocked all the time, even at night, even when we were not there. I think I'm a protective mama bear.

9. I LOVE to cook and I LOVE to eat! This is becoming a problem and I need to slow down :)

10. After reading this I think I need a therapist and you probably do too, ha!!!

XOXO,

2 comments:

  1. LOVE it! I'm glad I'm not the only scaredy cat.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Claire doesn't want to eat food either, only puffs. I'll think of you as well at 2 am!! :)

    ReplyDelete