Welp, Jason's 10 days of house hunting leave are up, and he headed back to work today--in Boston :o( His boat will be docked up in Boston until the end of October to get a 'facelift'. He will be able to come home on the weekends though, so that's better than nothing!
For now, I HAVE to work on getting over my 'going out in public by myself, WITH Paislee anxiety'. Now that she is getting older, she is getting a little easier to go out in public with, but I'm still nervous about those random meltdowns that she could have. She HATED the carseat when she was younger, and still doesn't LOVE it but its easier to take her out now because I can put her in the umbrella stroller or sit her on my hip now, rather than having to leave her in the carseat. I always worry that I will be in the grocery store or Walmart, with a full cart, and she will start screaming and I will have to run out and leave my cart....am I crazy?? Wait, before you answer, read what I have to say next...
I am also dealing with other Paislee issues, and I SERIOUSLY think I need some therapy! Maybe this is normal for all moms, please tell me if it is! I am constantly worried that something is going to happen to her. I have the WORST thoughts, and they are really starting to freak me out. For example: an older lady at church wanted to hold her the other day. I let her, but the whole time I was worried she was going to drop Paislee. I know that is not anything major, but here is another one: when we were getting settled in here at home, our coffee table was in pieces, leaning up against the wall, and Paislee was laying on the floor in front of it. I had to move her because I kept thinking that it would kill her if it fell on her, even though it was more than likely NOT going to fall. Lastly, she is STILL sleeping in our room, because I'm scared someone is going to break in and steal her if she is in another room. I am not so worried when Jason is home, but when I'm here by myself its all I think about. I can't even go to the bathroom for a minute in peace because I'm scared she will be gone when I come back. UGhhhhhh.....don't judge me! I need some other moms to give me advice though, and tell me if they went through anything like this, or do I seriously need some help?
That's all I have for today, just a few random, crazy thoughts!
1 week ago